Happy Spring!

Wow, not sure how time is flying by so quickly these last few weeks. Well, not exactly true. We own a small rental unit that our former renters kindly decided to trash every inch of the place. It has been a whirlwind month of repairs, replacements, painting, and endless cleaning. I can't for the life of me figure out how people can be so rude, disrespectful, and downright destructive of their living spaces.





To make it more eventful, the Princess and her hubby are having to move into this rental for financial reasons. The rush was on to get this wrapped up and them moved before the end of this month. We are almost there now and will begin her move tomorrow. Seems as though there are just not enough hours in every day to do all we plan or need to do. I know it will get done, but it doesn't prevent me from many sleepless nights and countless hours of needed tub soaking and the blasted heating pad.





OK, let's add to the excitement with the big news. Ready?

















Princess is expecting her first child in October of this year! I get to be an official grandmother which is rather exciting. We already technically have grandchildren from my stepchildren, but this will be the first from my own kids. I am hopefully they can fully resolve the major marital issues they have had and move ahead for a better future. We will begin painting and decor for the baby's room after this major move is complete and the dust settles a bit. She wants to do a safari theme in the room which I think will be adorable. We found this great rug a Target

(Target stores)

that will either be directly under the crib or behind it on the wall. It is a large size and would be better centered in the room, but it has latex backing which means Princess can't walk on it due to her latex allergies. Her plan is for pastel colors with a splash of more "real" animal print thrown in which will be cute if we can pull it off. If you bloggers run across any great products out there any links or such would be appreciated. I'd love to find some wall words with a baby/safari theme to use but the walls are very heavy texture which would making hanging difficult at best. I found a sweet safari baby panel at Joanne's to do a crib quilt. Going to try my first go round at machine quilting to perhaps outline the animals. Any quilters out there with hints?

And if that isn't enough fun for one month, my son has now moved his wedding planned for July to another state and location 3 times! AAAHHHH!!! Can you tell Mom is just about ready for the funny farm?

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Crossed fingers for good weather during the move as one day it is 70 the next we have snow. Typical desert weather but I am ready for summer for sure.

Pumpkin parade

Better Homes and Gardens is one of the magazines I enjoy. I also sign up for their e-newsletter for the 100 days of holiday ideas. Part of the reason I am so fond of this magazine is the variety. Each issue is scattered with home decor, frugal tips, home tours, craft projects, and recipes. There is usually at least one idea included that I can find a practical use for in my own home. So many crafters are showing off their pumpkin/fall/Halloween ideas this season.

Now that my children are grown, I miss out on the fun of carving pumpkins. Seriously, the yucky goo spread over my entire kitchen floor is something I sorely miss. Not enough just to do it myself this year however. I still like to add some festive decor, for myself, visitors, and those ghoulish tricker-treater friends though.

I found some simple, mostly frugal, and quite striking ideas at BHG and though they may spark someone elses creative bones as well.

Lets start with some simple paint ideas for those squeamish folks who don't fancy pumpkin guts sliding thru their fingers shall we?

This is adorable! Simple painted legs and shoes with a small bow glued on for good measure. I think even better if you lay them down so it appears the house fell on the witch, maybe right in front of the garage door even.



This one should appeal to those with the black and white decor happening out there. Even easier if you start with a white pumpkin, use a stencil of your choice.

This one adds another bit of sparkly goodness. How many of you have faux gems, or even maybe some of those pins laying around in a dark drawer somewhere?

Dimensional craft paint, or even a glitter/glue pen. Make a web design, add some gems or pins, a bit more detail and a glittery masterpiece is born. Easy, cheap, fun for kids as well.

This one has a bit of carving to it, but could just as easily be done with only paint. Would be super fun at a backyard bonfire set up with some real lanterns mixed with them.




This is my favorite. Grab a pack of those paper doilies and have at it! Use them as a stencil.

Simple, elegant and endless possibilities for sure. Tape it on, paint in your choice of designs and colors. I think these would be brilliant on a Thanksgiving table. Use a white pumpkin, you name it.

Now, while you have those doilies out, check out this brilliant masterpiece.

Yes, shapes here are cute from real lace doilies, but a cheaper version would be use designs from those paper ones! Glue it on, pin it on, double stick tape.

Since you have out the glue and pins now, lets move right along to another simple chic version. This version as strings of sequins, but whatever trips your trigger would work too. Ribbon, pearl strands, twine, yard, wire, see, again the possibilities are endless. See the rings on the stem?

See, sometimes you just have to think outside the pumpkin shell don't you? Well, while you are digging through your stash of goodies to try this, dig a bit farther to include this one as well. A few more "found", recycled, borrowed, broken bobs and you have yourself a magical ride!

Now, my Prince is the ultimate pack rat. I guarantee somewhere in the depths of my garage and assorted tool boxes, bins, buckets etc we have a million things rusty and delicious just like these. If you aren't so lucky, just think a bit more and you'll come up with something close. A jam jar lid laying around? Packets of those "some assembly required" extra pieces in plastic bags? A few extra coat hangers? Kid's outgrown bike alongside the house? Some paperclips? Cinderella would be proud of this baby for sure! Even better, see those tiny white pumpkins so innocently sitting there looking so cute? Not sure what's up with the eyebrows, but a carriage must have a coachman standing guard.

So, while you were digging around, I bet you found several packs of thumbtacks lurking in those drawers you didn't even know you had. No, well then I pity you. Cause if you spray them a quick coat of one color, or leave them shiny you get this baby.

Simple stencil design, unique choice to add some house numbers, a name, again the options are mind boggling if you think about it. Even raid your scrapbook stash for those brilliant brads you are hoarding. No, well I have jars of them. This would even work on those fab "faux" pumpkins and you can have it for years to come.

Now, in case there are sceptics lurking here, or those saying good grief why in the world would anyone paint, carve, or otherwise waste the day away on a darn pumpkin. Then I say to you

Scared ya didn't I? Well, maybe not, but even the craft challenged can swing this I am sure. Got a pen? Write B-O-O on three slips of paper, prop them up, tape it to the wall, whatever floats your boat. Really lazy, try H-I! But seriously, how ridiculously easy is this? These are really flashcards, propped on floral frogs inside glass jars.

So, go ahead, parade your pumpkins. No more excuses of how boring or difficult you think it is. Besides, you just might make someone smile while you are at it. We all need a bit of that now and then don't we?

Last day to enter!

This is the final day to enter this monster giveaway! Don't miss out! Tell Cheri I said hello while you are there!

Deadline extended-you don't want to miss this!

This

has been extended until October 13 due to some technical difficulty. Please swing by and sign up for the fabulous giveaway. Unfortunately, I still can't leave comments, so perhaps you can! My loss is your gain people, there are 30 prizes just waiting to come home with someone. Tell Cheri I said hello while you are there!

Wedding Part 2:More preparations

OK, so the saga continues. We left off somewhere near the time my living room and entire home was piled with boxes. OK, so prior to getting to that point, my Princess and the crew had to get those damn boxes ready to roll for wedding day. That meant trial runs of all the tablecloths I had begged and borrowed from friends on the tables we had to pick up and set up (also begged and borrowed) plus over 30 chairs to round up etc. After we determined the cloths for each table, I had purchased yards of various sheer fabrics to use as overlays on each table for the reception. These had to be cut (DO NOT try this in bone chilling wind at the last minute-crooked messes all around) and then labeled by my "diagram of yard layout" with each area marked by number. So, each area for decor had a number and box or boxes. For example, the altar/yard box had:aisle runner, flower garlands, clothes, crepe streamers, hanging stars and letters, tulle, flower petals, unity candle, salt container, lovely hanky from Lynn, lighters for the candles (NEVER have a outdoor ceremony without them!!!!), pins to affix runner to grass (done over the top of carpet remanents cut to size secured with large metal stakes flush with ground), etc. Then boxes for each guest table:cloth, fabric, centerpieces, favor boxes, candles, candy etc. Cake table:server set, plates, decor, flowers, papertowels, Guest book table: book, cloth, card box, honeymoon fund basket, markers, cameras, frame with instructions. Buffet box:clothes, serving spoons, napkins, utensils, menu frames, Bathroom box: basket with necessary items like female products, bandaids, Tums, ibuprofen, Immodium, guest towels, wedding print toilet paper, Kleenex, bouquet, candle etc. I think we ended up with 17 areas for boxes and many had more than one box. All this with accompanying diagram of yard layout, reception area etc for others to follow for set up as most could not be done until the morning of due to weather and I would be gone with Princess for hair session. MAJOR stress to trust the other MIL and family to get this done before I returned. Of course the heartfelt death threats and loaded gun cabinet may have shown how serious I was. Some how, it did get set up best it could and the rest got done when we got around to it after the ceremony.

So, Princess was upset she never got a formal "girl bash" given her Mom ended up as the last minute Matron of Honor and my place was already too damn full. So, instead she opted to spend the night at my house in her old room with her high school pal Heather. All this after an unplanned dinner at my house which included ALL the wedding guests while trying to assemble the damn cake and make up the table boxes! Plus, Heather was unable to arrive until about 8PM as her sister has cancer and is just fresh from chemo and wasn't doing well that day. But at last she arrived to cheer the princess and help us out. Now, I had counted on the Prince to help with cake assembly and decorating that night. Mandatory Mom needs you deal. Nope, instead he is roped into taking the groom out for a night of fun (for which he had to pay and wasn't even part of the wedding party.....hmmm) and left me to sweat it alone. They went bowling, movies, etc until 2am and MOM WAS FREAKING OUT!!!! See, while he was gone I had frosted and stacked the dreaded 3 layer cake, frosted and frozen the grooms ice cream cake, and unmolded the cheesecake. Well, about 9pm my trusty Prince Charming calmly utters from the kitchen, "uh, Honey....we seem to have a cake slide in here...." I pole vault over boxes to the kitchen to see the entire top layer splitting in half and crumbling.......sniff, stomp feet, cuss, cry, yell, throw utensils............ok fine. Off comes the top layer, thrown in the freezer (where it still resides uncovered in shame), repairs to the frosting and prayer chain commenses.

So, at 1:30am wedding day in stroll the groom and Prince all smiles....grrr... Princess is happy now, kisses all around and heads to bed and the groom heads home. No rest for the wicked so the Prince and I spend the next 2 hours beginning cake decor of the worse form ever. By this point I literally could no longer stand without passing out or throwing up from pure exhaustion. My hands couldn't hold a coffee cup let alone a pastry bag to squeeze out stars and squiggles.


So, my Prince to the rescue and he surrendered defeat at about 3am when he could no longer straighten his fingers. I took up the bag until 4am, finished just borders, did more dishes and lists, and laid down til 7am. Could not sleep and by now had literally only slept 38 hours in 3 weeks between work and wedding! Pry my ass out of bed, begin outdoor prep, serve coffee and breakfast to everyone else, head to the hairdresser at 10am with the Princess.

This was our arrival at the hairdresser. No makeup and still lovely with hair undone. Not so much her mom, yeah. Check out the nails, done with home gel kit-we rock for 9.99. Mom was to have a set too, but NO ONE HAD TIME TO DO MINE!!! Sound bitter don't I, well damn it I was, I mean am.... I arrived in my jammies as did not have time to comb my hair or get dressed after showing everyone for the 100th time where stuff was supposed to go! She refused breakfast and kept insisting she was going to puke! Then the hairdresser is 30 minutes late. In her defense, she NEVER works on Monday and lives quite a distance from town. She only agreed to do this updo for us as Princess has gone to her since she was 6 years old. Mary rocks!

The process begins. At this point I am too tired to move closer to her station. I did convince Princess she must at least drink water or something, so I head to the gas station for bottled water and M&M candy. Coax her to down some of both and she is feeling better!

I told her this look would be great with a dog bone like Pebbles, she wasn't buying it.

She wanted curls in the back to show off her undercoat of red to the back of her hair (complements of miss clairol and Mom) Looks really cool in the sun light!

I love this shot. I told her it would be the priceless moment and I would tell everyone she finally had her meltdown. What really happened was she was sprinkling "sparkly fairy dust glitter" in her hair so she was protecting her face. I like my story better.

At last a smile and the tiara being placed. Next we did the tutorial for the idiot mom of how to place both veils and not destroy her handiwork. Note to self, pay closer attention and remember to do it. We damn near forgot! Also notice dear old me in the wrinkled green shirt (aka my pajamas as didn't have time to change, no hair, no makeup=scarey shit!)

So, time comes for the grand total, clutching my checkbook in fear......"$35 please". What? You did not just say that? Two hours of solid curling, pinning, teasing, primping for $35? No way in hell! It pays to have friends gals! Let's just say I love my hairdresser and MY hair and therefore the check written was for $100!

This is one of my favorite photos of all. Princess has sat in my bathroom sink since she was old enough to climb to do her hair and/or makeup. See, unlike her Mom, Dad, and brother, Princess is vertically challenged, uhmm, short. So in order to see in the lame excuse for a mirror in here she had to climb in the sink to get close enough to see. So, here she is doing her wedding makeup, IN THE SINK!!!

It is now 1:30 and the ceremony is at 2:30! Shit! Race to bedroom, clothes flying, Spanx donned to slither into my $29 Ross special bridesmaid size 3 dress (thank god for miracle tailors that gave me the extra 1/2 inch to breath-but by now I had lost a unable to afford 5 pounds and had extra room), hot roller hair, Princess slapped on my makeup, friend Lisa yanks the curls, run off to help Princess don the dress.....

Excuse the blurry photos, we were RUSHING folks! This is the flower girl Gidget, watching Princess antics and wondering what the hell we are going to do next. Little did she know it meant the lovely dress, pink flower, and sparkly bracelet-turned-collar. She was supposed to walk to aisle, but instead I had to carry my granddog in style as she was used to doing.

By now she is demanding a makeup touch up. See that can of Pledge on the TV stand? Unused, dust everywhere-great when photographer shows up with 5 people more crowded into the 1 foot space around the bed....oh hell!

Here we have Prince Charming, obviously not amused nor yet willing to don his new jacket. Did manage the cool horseshoe tie we bought, although would never know what they were in this lousy picture would you? Pretty spiffy in pink though! Notice my house is STILL a disaster area and guests are already arriving via this room, great!

Here is a sorry looking bunch indeed. Left is Lisa, the bridesmaid and my best friend in the world. I am center with Gidget in her stylish outfit. Right is Alicia, the best person/man, Mr. Princess's best friend. This is the only lousy shot I have of our bouquets that I made. The other girls here have special locket charms tied to theirs and the stems are wrapped in coordinated ribbon. Yes, that is a bee hive above Alicia's head-no you don't want to know the story....

So, you see we have still not made it to the ceremony at all. I'm exhausted just reliving the hype up to this point. By now I was thinking, enough already, lets get this damn thing started and move on! Up next, the actual wedding begins. Tune in often as I am WAY behind in work so it may take me awhile to get there.

Meanwhile, some words of wisdom to ANY ONE contemplating a wedding or a dreaded backyard wedding.

1. Photos of every little, teeny, tiny damn thing as you do them. You spend MONTHS (some crazy ones years) planning and doing. Take the damn pix already! Put a disposable one in your purse, your car, your kitchen, everywhere you can fit one. DO NOT WAIT TIL WEDDING DAY TO REMEMBER>it won't happen. I have so many things I wish we had a pic of. No excuse. I have THREE cameras and over 15 disposable there the entire time. Did anyone take a picture? Hell no! We even made a dreaded pic list for the photographer for crying out loud. The details don't matter to a soul except YOU but trust me, take a damn picture already.

2. Make lists, make time lines, and delegate! I pulled it off but am paying for it still. DIY projects are great fun, but MAJOR stress to do alone. Enlist friends, family, enemies, everyone! Some of the best days were the favor assembly day (NO PHOTOS of dipping damn fortune cookies, assembling boxes), making invitations (from the date that never was-never did new ones thank goodness). I wish we had pix but we don't. Making bouquets took me days and arrangements months, not one damn photo. But the lists, while very OCD to my family, kept me in reality and I knew every second where we stood with prep etc.

3. Have fun, make it fun, don't sweat the small stuff. It isn't worth it and no one cares. The day is in the end all about the two people in love being married in front of friends and family. If it wasn't perfect, tough. Shit happens, cakes slide, decor doesn't look right, the house isn't clean, the veggie tray never made it to a tray or a table-WHO CARES!!!! My motto is, if they don't like it they don't have to look or there's the door. Either way, the Princess is married, happy, and in love. THAT is what matters! I could have cried, thrown more fits, pulled out more hair, refused to do things, or paid others to do it. In the end, it was over in a matter of hours, everyone left happy, full of food, and my daughter was married. We did what we could with the little money we have to give her a wedding to remember. It may not meet standards of others or mine for that matter, but we did the best we could. Would they be any more in love or married with more money spent or more time or more fluff? Hell no!

More lessons to follow, promise! That is if you aren't running in fear already from this mess...

Oh so pretty

I stumbled upon some pretties that made me smile. Now how could I NOT show you a gazing ball, I mean really. First, what a unique gazing ball this is! Metal leaves and flower petals interlocking, raised detail, color, shine, depth. Now, for a sugar daddy to shell out the cash for it and we would be in business. This place has the most incredible ones, some are twisted metal that look like vines, twigs, yummy. But, as with most this equals EXPENSIVE! I think this beauty is around $70! Now, in fairness, my current ball in the header was a much heftier price than I normally pay for garden items. The weather here is just too extreme and I'm too lazy to bring things in. The one I currently have was about $45, but after my children SHATTERING a minimum of 15 plus of the cheaper ones, I bit the bullet and got one that is guaranteed not to break. So far, I have had it over 5 years, out in 108 degree desert full sun and minus 15 degree winter snow and ice. No cracks even when hit by the run away croquet ball, tumbled down the stairs and hit concrete during a wind storm. Yep, it was worth every penny as never had one last a full season let alone a calendar year. Mine is only having a slight issue with whatever the clear coat is peeling off and a bit of the color. Next time it will be a plain color stainless one then it won't matter. If I were rich instead of so darn good lookin' (HA HA HA), I would have one of ALL of them scattered everywhere. I love the new glass with the special powder embedded that makes them glow, but already had one bird bath made of this glowing goodness. First nip of frost and the thing busted in million pieces. So, not sure the gazing ball is my kind of deal.

(I apologize for during my wondering in space, I simply collected photos of things that appealed to me over several days. I did not think to write down where most were from, mostly to prevent my return to the same place to subject myself to more wanting that I can't afford. Safer this way, but not fair to those peddling the wares in case someone else wants one) The next one is just plain cute. Seriously bird cages with practical hooks? With all the bird lovers out there who can resist? Besides, I remember where this was, a delightful and pocket friendly place called Terry's Village. Think it was like under $5 for the pair.

Along the same theme (and place) I found this one. Again, birds, cute, and practical with around a $5 price tag. How annoying is it to set out your perfect picnic only to lose those napkins to the pesky breeze? Yeah, I know a rock is cheaper, or in my case the pickle jar or whatever is close. But I think it would even be cute on the counter to hold those receipts or notes that pile up. Please tell me I'm not the only one with the piles, HA!

Now this one I almost stopped my self to ponder even longer and actually buy it. Lucky for me, the practical gal in me slapped myself silly instead and settled for the pix. But it was seriously close for a minute..... Flower frogs! Cute, practical, and cute. Wait, I said cute didn't I? Come on, does this cute thing not just make you smile? I keep eying them on eBay and watching prices go thru the roof for the old ones made of metal. Some day I will have a large collection, just because. They can be used for so much more than flowers, although the purist in me would love to see them set out in a shallow bowl of water with blooms just like this. But then, in the dead of winter, like about, oh yeah, NOW, re purpose as a great photo holder, greeting card holder, recipe holder in the kitchen, business card holder on my desk, post it holder, whatever you want!

After admiring Lynn's new bird eggs over at the Vintage Nest, and subsequent story of their demise during rain storms (serious bummer that maybe a bit of peanut butter in the mix could at least slow the problem), I really like this idea. Reusable bird feeders for various kinds of food. One holds seed, one holds suet, and others for the likes of fruit, peanuts, corn or whatever your feathered friends prefer. You can wash them, hang them anywhere, and they are also rather cheap.

This one made me again pause with the dreaded purchase me NOW feeling. How adorable for a pal who loves to play in the dirt like me? A Wellie planter, twine, copper plant tags, and some girlie cotton gloves to protect those "delicate" hands from the elements. You can use the planter to grow some wonderful seeds, love it with a bit of trailing flowers, or with a saucer you could even use it as a vase during a outdoor party. Or prop your silverware in it at a BBQ, store some garden tools. Yep, again, practical and cheap and cute. Sagey green goodness.

I have also been eyeing these incredible candles for a couple years now. Seems like each catalog has their own version with a vast array of price points, most of which were a bit too steep for a cheap girl like me. This one was a staggering $16.99, yep even old thrifty me can dig up that much change in the bottom of my purse most days. Now, what I was drawn to the first time I saw them was the claim that you put up the amount of candle you want to burn to about level of the little clip deal, light it, then when it burns to that level it goes out. OK, so anybody out there got one of these little devils and is it true? Inquiring minds want to know if this is one of those yippee it works kind of deals, or why the heck did I waste my money kind of deals?

Several places have refills in different colors like red, green, white etc. Then my overactive mind is like, girl, this will not work in the desert. You will do something retarded like take it outside for dinner, have way to much fun, leave it outside, suddenly remember about 3pm when the temp has reached the average 103 degrees and you now have a warped, solid candle snake. Or, another, OH, it is too pretty to use until several years pass and you have a candle with embedded cat hair which is NOT something you want to smell burning-trust me. But I was thinking it would be too cute in my not yet finished bathroom makeover where my new light switch covers are the ONLY bit of goodness to be found, STILL. Sorry Lynn, but at least your product is the shining star, right?

OK, so tell me blog friends. What have you spotted in your travels lately? What has you saying, "man, if I hadn't spent all my money before Christmas I could make a HAUL on this sale"? Stumble across any great Internet or store finds you could not live without? Nabbed up any of those "man, at this price I will find SOMEONE to give this to-gift-drawer-stash" kind of things? Anyone started their list for Santa yet for NEXT year? Come on, you already know my tree is still up. Spill it. Again am I the only one that searches for this stuff then KICKS myself because I didn't buy it, or worse yet because I did?

October has begun

I seriously wish someone could tell me where the time is going! Everything is a blur these days it seems. Then, this morning, I head to my trusty home office to discover it is time for yet another calendar page. WOW! This means dear old mom better get a grip shortly as it is a mind blowing 2 weeks until the child Prince has a birthday. Not to mention time to decorate, prepare the yard for cooler weather, the list is endless. I did manage to glitter two pumpkins last weekend for my dearest friend and her mother. However, I never made it to mine so still have that to finish. Prince Charming is giving me the "look" as it seems everything we touch is covered in glitter these days. Not the ideal cowboy accessory it seems. Men, they just have no sense of style, HA!

Anyway, I found some rather cute clip art while surfing the web, I mean diligently working, and thought I could at least share with anyone who may be interested in them. Just jumped out at me, so if you want one, feel free to grab it.

The Princess is slowly recovering from surgery, although this is day 3, which is notoriously the worst no matter what form of surgery you have. Pretty sure she would rather wake up in a week or so and find this was all a bad dream. Hoping to have time to make her a bit of dinner tonight to take over. Also have a spice cake mix screaming from the depths of the cupboard I want to bake. I found some canned "gasp, yes I said canned" frosting at the store that says it is less sugar so will give that a whirl. Hey, a working girl has to do whatever it takes anymore. Besides, Prince Charming has a zillion health issues so anything I can do to make the taboo treats even a trace healthier is better. So, better get some work done if I plan to accomplish anything today.

Happy October to everyone and I hope you have a great day!

Note to self.........

Well, the last few weeks are simply a blur. I have finally completed the wedding invitations, all that remains is the dreaded trip to the post office to determine the necessary postage for them so I can get them mailed. If my camera battery weren't dead, I would post pix for you to see. Note to self, NEVER volunteer to make these blasted things again!

Next I suppose I better get busy making the bouquets. Note to self, NEVER volunteer to make these blasted things again! At least there are only 2 of these to make in silk as the Princess wants fresh calla lilies for hers. Then again, will need multiple arrangements for various tables, etc. Note to self, NEVER volunteer to make these again!

The project after that will be to make multiple wedding cakes. See, Princess wants multiple smaller cakes instead of a large one. So, one will be a small 3 tier, then various others in graduating sizes. Note to self, NEVER volunteer to make these again!

At least the Princess has her gown, veil, tiara, etc, etc. I am desperately seeking a 3 photo locket to attach to her bouquet. I would like to insert a photo of her father/stepmom, Prince Charming/my sorry ol self, and the center with Princess/Groom. I think this would be a lovely keepsake for her to have and something she would not expect. I have searched high and low on ebay etc and have only found one, but alas was a day late and a dollar short. So, if any blogger friends run across one, please let me know!

She still needs to do the alterations to the gown (can you say hurry up already), decide on shoes, hair, etc. Bridezilla doesn't begin to describe what we have sunk to these days friends. Let's just say dear old Mom is fed up with this circus!

Oh, did I fail to mention I have a living room corner full of white pumpkins to glitter? Menus to plan and cook and serve? You guessed it, Mom has been designated wedding coordinator, baker, florist, planner, caterer, and all around day labor! Note to self, if son ever marries, just give him a check to elope and tell him to send a post card. Note to self, NEVER volunteer to do this again!!!! Especially when he is now saying he likely can't attend as the boss won't give him time off (read between the lines, his girlfriend hates Princess).

Today I get a call from the stepmother who has taken over planning the bridal shower for the maid of honor (her daughter-yeah, don't ask) who tells me it will be a naughty nightie party and she is booking a local hotel suite as the casinos won't rent a space without tons of issues. Fine, whatever, just do it. I am trying folks to rise to the occasion and bite my tongue, but I am seriously thinking I will need some serious medication before this is over. I can't even go into all the gorey details, but let's just say having me in closed quarters with this woman may result in some very bad vibes that won't be good for anyone. Let's just hope its short and sweet and there is plenty of alcohol in my beverage................

One plus is, the future bride/groom are allegedly moving out on September 1! I say allegedly as it isn't Sept. 1 yet and the fat lady hasn't sung. Good news, they get the heck out of my house which may decrease some of the constant irritation. Bad news, it is literally across the street. Good news, they can get all this "crap" we are accumulating out of my way so I can work and live! Bad news, I am doomed with the wedding crap everywhere until October 21! Note to self, change locks, move and leave no forwarding address on October 22!!!

So blog friends, if you have made it this far in my ranting, I apologize slightly. But, where else can I let off steam if not my seriously lame blog. If you come across a locket, let me know. If you come across any incredible cake recipes, let me know. If you come across incredibly cheap Cinderella/candlelight wedding items, let me know. If you think I'm crazy, don't bother, I already know....

PS, Princess had her tongue pierced over the weekend just to piss me off! Note to self, thank your lucky stars every day you only had two children to irritate you and that they are still around to irritate you!

Random ideas

For some reason I just felt like adding some random ideas found on the internet that called my name. Below is a very simple arrangement that screamed spring romance. How clever to stack graduated dishes, bowls, cups, whatever and insert some floral foam or water and add your choice of flowers or plants?








The next one is so simple I had to refrain from smacking myself for not thinking of it. Put your flowers in a small vase with water, insert that vase in a larger one, then fill the outer space with jelly beans! You could do multi color flowers with multi color jelly beans, or go for the monocromatic look with select flowers and jelly beans. Personally I severely dislike black jelly beans, but would be perfect in this in combination with some all white flowers like carnations or tulips. Plus, if you get desparate and the kids have stolen your candy stash, you have a back up just in case!







Now this idea is another duh moment. Simple popcorn balls. Tint the sugar syrup whatever color you want and make the balls into egg shapes. Love the display in sundae cups. Same darn thing would be a cinch with Rice Crispies. Green for Saint Patty's Day? Whatever color your kid likes for a birthday, especially to take for school treats. So much easier than the damn cupcakes that upend in the car and screw up the frosting!






Now, technically I'm off track here as it doesn't really scream spring, but clever none the less. Photo display in a stainless napkin holder, you know, like they have in resteraunts crammed so full you tear them to shreds trying to get one out. Two sided so you could have a picture on one side and maybe a saying on the other? Or in the center of your table with photo of the birthday guest and menu card on the other? Or a piece of paper for a pop of color on a book shelf. Just cut a template to fit the hole and size your picture accordingly.

Now, this is totally random, but he looked so forelorn sitting out there in cyberspace I had to bring him home. He would look so great hanging in my home, maybe a towel holder in the bathroom. Way too much money for me to spend, but cute to look at right here. (Can you say cow obsession?)

OK, only one more I promise. What a totally cute idea for a kids party, Easter snack, heck , summer with other candy. Ice cream cone with licorice handles and fill with whatever you like. These would be adorable in those display racks they have for cupcakes and such. Maybe even a simple party idea with a no-bake cheesecake or mousse filling (put a chocolate coating on the inside)? Easy for guest to eat and no plates, forks, etc to worry about for desert.

So, I hope these ideas will come in handy for someone out there. If not, too bad cause I just like looking at them myself. Have a great weekend!

Projects, chaos, and more snow

Gosh, this blogging thing takes more time than I can even begin to find these days. Recovering from a bout of stomach virus that knocked me flat for a couple days. I detest being sick. I have so many pressing things to complete and things like this just really mess up my best laid plans.
We again received over a foot of snow this weekend, and my back is suffering from shoveling the heavy, wet mess. Now they claim it could be 60 degrees by the end of the week. Just let it be summer already because I am fed up with snow.
Prince Charming is struggling to get a grasp of his mom's financial status. Her declining mental status is making it a real challenge to get a real picture of things. It appears worse than he originally believed and I have no idea where to begin to settle this mess when he isn't willing to push the issue. Waiting for him to come to the acceptance of the whole issue is going to be the end of my rope I am afraid.
My Princess girl is turning 18 in a few weeks. Exciting, rewarding, and depressing all in one for me. I am beginning to feel old this time around for sure. Her idea of the perfect gift changes every 5 minutes, so haven't officially decided what to get her yet. Then comes the whole graduation issue in June, so still trying to figure it all out. When my son turned 18, I made him a scrapbook of his life which he just loved. I had hoped to do one for her as well. I sat down this week and started and before I knew it I had completed one whole book of just the first couple months of her life. Not what I had planned but I couldn't make my self cram 18 years in one book. So, I hope to call it volume 1 instead. I would like to do another of her childhood years, and then hopefully just one of high school so there is a series almost of her life. I have already done a couple for her in the past of things, but want these to be for her to keep. I have so many boxes of "crap" that I would also like to do one of just momento kind of things like report cards, birthday cards, award certificates, homework examples etc. My usual state of procrastination however will likely never complete all this in time. I may end up with 3 more blank scrap books with IOU coupons inside! That would tick her off for sure.
She has it in her head that she is going for a tattoo and tongue ring for her birthday. We have battled this fight for years, but now she will be 18 and can do it without my permission. I personally don't care for tattoos. See, with my job I have seen what they become in your older years and frankly even the best tattoo is not something you ever want to see when you are old and wrinkled. Imagine silly putty with cartoon strips like I used to do, ya know how you stretch and wrinkle it to distort the image, exact same thing with the tattoo. Plus, visible tattoo art can be a huge barrier to professional careers regardless of what some may think. Now to be fair, I have seen some that are true works of art done in tasteful and very professional manner that I admit are spectacular. My ex has a couple and my son was up to two the last time I checked. Whatever. I just refuse to participate in this in any way. No way, no how. She will legally be able to do it if she wants, but Mom isn't going and I won't pay for it. Period. Same goes for a tongue or lip ring. I can not tolerate this on anyone at all. Trying to talk to someone who has a tongue or lip ring (or any other form of facial piercing) is totally not something I can even do. It is too distracting and I am instantly annoyed. I have not met one person with a tongue ring that doesn't "play" with it, click it against their teeth, or some other annoying form of irritation while they are talking or just sitting there. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! Again, completely unprofessional for work and completely disgusts me to see it. Again, she will be old enough to do it, but I won't have anything to do it. One of her former boyfriends had two and he knew before he came to my house he better take the damn things out or I wouldn't even talk to him. Am I weird? Likely as it seems to be the cool thing to do, but damn it I don't care. I can tolerate a lot of crap, but no way no how can I tolerate this facial stuff. She is a beautiful girl and hanging crap off her lip, tongue, eye or anything else is just going to kill me. Her other option was a belly button ring, which I would pay for that if it would keep the crap off her face. Had I not had a horrible experience with infection/rejection of internal sutures following an abdominal surgery and had puss running out of my belly button for 3 straight months, I might even consider doing that one with her just for a bit of bonding. Just not willing to risk another run of green pus to look cool to the kid. I digress, at least a belly ring can be covered up for work, etc. I don't have to see it click against her teeth with every word or breath. OK, now that I have offended everyone with piercings in blog land I should stop this tirade. Hey, if you have one, good for you. I have two holes in each ear and that's good enough for me. You want it, do it, fine. Just don't wait for me to do cartwheels with joy ok?
Have a good week everyone.

One project down-one million to go

Well, best intentions, but I was only able to complete the blanket for the birthday gift. I am now hoping to complete the pillow in time for Valentine's Day. In fact, I am now in hopes of completing two-silly fool I am. I was thinking I may have enough material between the shirt and pants to do another pillow for his mother as well. She is having a really tough time lately, so I may only depress her more.

He loved the blanket as it was Army green solid on one side with green camo on the other. As usual I forgot to take a picture to show, but I think it turned out well indeed. I made it extra long as he is a big guy, over 6 feet, and it goes from his head well past his toes.

Prince Charming is again gone to the ranch to assist with his mother. Took him two days to make the trip (usually 8 hour drive)due to ice/snow etc. She has had increasing pain over the last month, and it now appears she will need to have a hip replacement to alleviate this. If it weren't for her failing mental health and general health I would heartily agree to this plan. She has already had one hip replaced and both knees and did very well with those. She stayed here with us for several months after both knee operations, although she hated it as would we all would when you just want to go home. She lives in such a remote area (100 miles dirt road to the nearest town) and it was the only safe way to be sure she had what she needed. Now, she is becoming very frail and memory is failing more each day. There is family staying with her, but still... He is taking her to the specialist on Thursday with my legal size list of questions to ask about potential treatments for her.

I love the woman as if she were my own mother and it just kills me to see her this way. Sometimes I wish I had no medical knowledge at all as I'm afraid circumstances like this bring home "ignorance is bliss". Until her three joint replacements, she had never been sick a day in her life, never been in a hospital (including having her 5 kids), and has never taken anything stronger than asprin. Narcotics make her have horrible hallucinations, so her options are very limited. It makes me hurt to see her in pain when I can't just "fix it". Prince Charming is the oldest of the children and has been designated the "official mom-problem-solver" as the others aren't ready or willing to face the inevitable fact that she is not going to be around forever. It is so hard for him to be the "adult" in this whole mess. I went through the same thing already with both of my parents and I can see the writing is clearly on the wall. Doesn't make it any less painful though.

Well, best get back to work and earn some money to support the circus. Maybe I'll just watch the snow for the millionth day in a row instead.

Several weeks ago I was lucky enough to attend a wonderful class taught by Tracey http://acottageindustry.typepad.com/a_cottage_industry/2007/09/whew-im-still-n.html. The class was so informative and I learned so many new tips and techniques for making a simple gift a work of art. She taught us how to make torn paper bows, that I would never in my life have come up with such an idea. Her example was a true work of art, and she made it all look so easy.

Well, my son turned 21 this week, so I finally had no excuse not to try this form of bow. Let me tell you I must be getting old because I had a heck of a time trying to remember what she did. Then I remembered, duh, she gave us binders with photos and instructions for future reference. Thank you Tracey, you saved the day yet again! So, off I went to my trusted wrapping paper stash, searched high and low for the tape and scissors, waded through bone crushing mounds of ribbon, bravely searched the bottom of the closet ( you know the one that if you dare open it begins a land slide of monumental proportions?), and set down to begin wrapping.


Now, silly me again thinks, geez, tear paper into strips, not rocket science, I can do this. WRONGO BUDDY! Now, if again I had paid closer attention in class, she did say to use heavy paper for this. Not me, pick up the only paper you have that doesn't scream Christmas from "the closet", and of course it is very thin and coated with God knows what that makes it slick. So, let the tearing begin. Disaster I tell you. I have a college degree and I can't tear a strip of paper from the role in a semi uniform fashion to save my soul! Now, I'm running close to the end of the roll of paper and freaking out. By now the animals are "helping" with tearing, I'm pulling out my hair, and my husband is giving me "the look". Lucky for him he knows NOT to say, "I thought you paid money to learn how to do this." or "For crying out loud can't you just use the plastic store bag and a stick on bow like everyone else?" LUCKY for him, he's well trained for situations like this and simply stares at me and the pile of growing torn paper shreds now scattered through the living room, kitchen, hallway, and bathroom.


So, after consulting my expert advisor (Mr. Jack and his partner Coke) I know I can do this. I do have a college degree. I operate best in a crisis and have been known to save a few lives in the course of a day. Back to the pile of prior attempts for another go-round. The light bulb moment occurs! Idiot, the box is only a small-former-jewelry-gift-now-recycled-to-hold-gift-card size, you don't need a strip of paper 3 feet long! DUH! OK, so just tear the damn strips in half and even them out. Assemble bow as instructed, etc. etc. etc. Thank you Mr. Jack! You are always the best advisor!

One down, one to go! Now, I think I'm getting the hang of this. Again begin tearing, swearing, and general chaos! More advisement with Mr. Jack, and at last



Ta Dah! Two pretty packages for the birthday boy. Off to the dreaded post office for mailing. Wait in nerve wracking suspense to hear that they actually arrived where I paid for them to go this time (yes, Mr. Postman and UPS have been known to completely lose many a gift box).

The call comes, "Mom! The package came today. Can I open them?"

No, you must wait for the birthday dear child.

At last, the big day arrives. Another call. "Mom, I can't open these packages."
What, are you drunk?
"No", he says, "they are too pretty, I don't want to ruin them. I've never seen anything this cool!"
Exactly how many times did you consult Mr. Jack on this your 21st birthday? You must be talking about a present from Ms. Cowgirl sitting next to you?
"No, Mom, the presents you sent are too cool to open. We just want to look at them."

Wait, hold the presses, news flash alert! Checking caller ID display, showing number of MY son- the number that appears on the bill that I pay monthly (yeah I know, he's old enough to pay it but I do it so I can still talk to him since he lives way too far to drive and knock on the door to check for a pulse when I don't hear from him). Same son who knows he is getting a gift certificate (IE bucks to spend immediately during hunting season) from his favorite sporting goods store because mom is too lazy to shoot for surprises anymore. THAT SON, is on the phone with me, now, saying he doesn't want to open a present containing more money than he ever has in his wallet, even on pay day Friday, BECAUSE IT IS TOO PRETTY????????

"Mom? Are you still there?"
Yes, I'm still here. Just open it already.
"But Mom, it is too cool. I have never seen anything like it. How'd you do it?"
Oh, just open the damn box. The silly wrapping is so easy, you can wrap it back up after you open it and do it yourself!
"Seriously, you have to show me how to do this. Ms. Cowgirl sitting next to me wants to learn too."

BE STILL MY HEART! My son, Mr. WyoTech graduate, who is never happy unless he is covered in grease, paint, mud, or other oozing bodily fluids found after a successful hunt-is impressed with a package presentation. The same son, who sat in my living room this past Christmas, beaming from ear to ear showing me his newly wrapped packages that he proudly exclaimed were custom decorated with colored duct tape! This son- is now telling me he wants to learn how to make a torn paper bow!

Sure, I'll teach you. It's so easy!
(SHH! Don't tell him! Mothers are entitled to a certain amount of revenge for 21 years of sleepless nights, countless ER visits for stitches, x-rays, and crutches, trips to the principals office to lend support to the newly suspended student, broken windows from baseballs, soccer balls, and blow-gun-darts, cleaning the 3-pound tub of butter from the carpet after it was used for a monster truck race course, beginning drivers accidents totally smashing two cars paid-4-by-Mom aren't we?)

I'll be happy to show you next time you are here. It isn't rocket science my dear boy. Happy Birthday son! Have another consultation with Mr. Jack for me!

Hang up phone. Run to bathroom. Shut door. Bawl your eyes out while doing the happy dance. My son, is now 21, and just spent 30 minutes drooling over a package! Not the contents, THE WRAPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does this mean that he's growing up? Does this mean that MY SON is turning out to be the exact man that I hoped he would for all these long years?

Blow nose. Wipe away the tears. Open door. Return to living room with smile from ear to ear.
"Did Zachary like his presents?"
Yes, Prince Charming, he said thank you very much.
"What did he say about the crazy-ass wrapping you spent hours on?"
Oh, nothing. You know him, he just rips into presents before he even knows who they are from. I'm sure he didn't even notice dear.
"Sorry. I thought it was cute anyway. Wanna watch Dancing with the Stars? Can I get you a consult with Mr. Jack?"
Sure honey, that would be great.

Thanks Tracey! Bet you never knew you were a rocket scientist did you? Thanks for sharing your creative inspiration that just made my son's 21st birthday one I will never forget!

I wanted to share my latest craft project. I had seen a similar project in one of the many magazines I read and had to give it a try myself. The original was done with real pumkins, but I have never been able to simply follow directions and recreate an original idea. Instead, I used the foam craft pumkins for a more permanent display. Luckily, my Prince Charming was able to give me a hand when I was ready to scrap the whole project as I wasn't finding any form of glue that would hold the pumpkins together.

I used wooden skewers to hold one to the next with a touch of superglue for good measure. Then he used the wonderful power tools to drill a center hole in the bottom of the two closest to the basket. A wooden dowel was screwed to the basket and inserted in the bottom pumpkins. Now, it was top heavy, so we resorted to needed some form of weight to stabilize the bottom. My Prince Charming wasn't going for my ideas, and instead turned to his trusty pile of old horse shoes (that are/were destined to become my garden arch and gates but that's another story). He found several that fit perfectly in the basket around the dowel. I filled the entire basket to the rim with floral foam, covered and pinned on spanish moss. Still wasn't quite right, so added some moss to the attachment point of each pumpkin. Better. Painted on the welcome greeting, and behold-the best fall welcome sign on the block.

Now, if the wind would ever stop blowing 4o MPH every darn day, I could set it outside for all to enjoy. Not that I don't trust my own creation to Mother Nature, but well...I don't! So, for now it is tucked in a corner of the entry to avoid the inevitable use by the cats for a new climbing adventure. Luckily, so far they are only fixated on trying to remove all the moss.

Pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself!