Wedding Part 2:More preparations

OK, so the saga continues. We left off somewhere near the time my living room and entire home was piled with boxes. OK, so prior to getting to that point, my Princess and the crew had to get those damn boxes ready to roll for wedding day. That meant trial runs of all the tablecloths I had begged and borrowed from friends on the tables we had to pick up and set up (also begged and borrowed) plus over 30 chairs to round up etc. After we determined the cloths for each table, I had purchased yards of various sheer fabrics to use as overlays on each table for the reception. These had to be cut (DO NOT try this in bone chilling wind at the last minute-crooked messes all around) and then labeled by my "diagram of yard layout" with each area marked by number. So, each area for decor had a number and box or boxes. For example, the altar/yard box had:aisle runner, flower garlands, clothes, crepe streamers, hanging stars and letters, tulle, flower petals, unity candle, salt container, lovely hanky from Lynn, lighters for the candles (NEVER have a outdoor ceremony without them!!!!), pins to affix runner to grass (done over the top of carpet remanents cut to size secured with large metal stakes flush with ground), etc. Then boxes for each guest table:cloth, fabric, centerpieces, favor boxes, candles, candy etc. Cake table:server set, plates, decor, flowers, papertowels, Guest book table: book, cloth, card box, honeymoon fund basket, markers, cameras, frame with instructions. Buffet box:clothes, serving spoons, napkins, utensils, menu frames, Bathroom box: basket with necessary items like female products, bandaids, Tums, ibuprofen, Immodium, guest towels, wedding print toilet paper, Kleenex, bouquet, candle etc. I think we ended up with 17 areas for boxes and many had more than one box. All this with accompanying diagram of yard layout, reception area etc for others to follow for set up as most could not be done until the morning of due to weather and I would be gone with Princess for hair session. MAJOR stress to trust the other MIL and family to get this done before I returned. Of course the heartfelt death threats and loaded gun cabinet may have shown how serious I was. Some how, it did get set up best it could and the rest got done when we got around to it after the ceremony.

So, Princess was upset she never got a formal "girl bash" given her Mom ended up as the last minute Matron of Honor and my place was already too damn full. So, instead she opted to spend the night at my house in her old room with her high school pal Heather. All this after an unplanned dinner at my house which included ALL the wedding guests while trying to assemble the damn cake and make up the table boxes! Plus, Heather was unable to arrive until about 8PM as her sister has cancer and is just fresh from chemo and wasn't doing well that day. But at last she arrived to cheer the princess and help us out. Now, I had counted on the Prince to help with cake assembly and decorating that night. Mandatory Mom needs you deal. Nope, instead he is roped into taking the groom out for a night of fun (for which he had to pay and wasn't even part of the wedding party.....hmmm) and left me to sweat it alone. They went bowling, movies, etc until 2am and MOM WAS FREAKING OUT!!!! See, while he was gone I had frosted and stacked the dreaded 3 layer cake, frosted and frozen the grooms ice cream cake, and unmolded the cheesecake. Well, about 9pm my trusty Prince Charming calmly utters from the kitchen, "uh, Honey....we seem to have a cake slide in here...." I pole vault over boxes to the kitchen to see the entire top layer splitting in half and crumbling.......sniff, stomp feet, cuss, cry, yell, throw utensils............ok fine. Off comes the top layer, thrown in the freezer (where it still resides uncovered in shame), repairs to the frosting and prayer chain commenses.

So, at 1:30am wedding day in stroll the groom and Prince all smiles....grrr... Princess is happy now, kisses all around and heads to bed and the groom heads home. No rest for the wicked so the Prince and I spend the next 2 hours beginning cake decor of the worse form ever. By this point I literally could no longer stand without passing out or throwing up from pure exhaustion. My hands couldn't hold a coffee cup let alone a pastry bag to squeeze out stars and squiggles.


So, my Prince to the rescue and he surrendered defeat at about 3am when he could no longer straighten his fingers. I took up the bag until 4am, finished just borders, did more dishes and lists, and laid down til 7am. Could not sleep and by now had literally only slept 38 hours in 3 weeks between work and wedding! Pry my ass out of bed, begin outdoor prep, serve coffee and breakfast to everyone else, head to the hairdresser at 10am with the Princess.

This was our arrival at the hairdresser. No makeup and still lovely with hair undone. Not so much her mom, yeah. Check out the nails, done with home gel kit-we rock for 9.99. Mom was to have a set too, but NO ONE HAD TIME TO DO MINE!!! Sound bitter don't I, well damn it I was, I mean am.... I arrived in my jammies as did not have time to comb my hair or get dressed after showing everyone for the 100th time where stuff was supposed to go! She refused breakfast and kept insisting she was going to puke! Then the hairdresser is 30 minutes late. In her defense, she NEVER works on Monday and lives quite a distance from town. She only agreed to do this updo for us as Princess has gone to her since she was 6 years old. Mary rocks!

The process begins. At this point I am too tired to move closer to her station. I did convince Princess she must at least drink water or something, so I head to the gas station for bottled water and M&M candy. Coax her to down some of both and she is feeling better!

I told her this look would be great with a dog bone like Pebbles, she wasn't buying it.

She wanted curls in the back to show off her undercoat of red to the back of her hair (complements of miss clairol and Mom) Looks really cool in the sun light!

I love this shot. I told her it would be the priceless moment and I would tell everyone she finally had her meltdown. What really happened was she was sprinkling "sparkly fairy dust glitter" in her hair so she was protecting her face. I like my story better.

At last a smile and the tiara being placed. Next we did the tutorial for the idiot mom of how to place both veils and not destroy her handiwork. Note to self, pay closer attention and remember to do it. We damn near forgot! Also notice dear old me in the wrinkled green shirt (aka my pajamas as didn't have time to change, no hair, no makeup=scarey shit!)

So, time comes for the grand total, clutching my checkbook in fear......"$35 please". What? You did not just say that? Two hours of solid curling, pinning, teasing, primping for $35? No way in hell! It pays to have friends gals! Let's just say I love my hairdresser and MY hair and therefore the check written was for $100!

This is one of my favorite photos of all. Princess has sat in my bathroom sink since she was old enough to climb to do her hair and/or makeup. See, unlike her Mom, Dad, and brother, Princess is vertically challenged, uhmm, short. So in order to see in the lame excuse for a mirror in here she had to climb in the sink to get close enough to see. So, here she is doing her wedding makeup, IN THE SINK!!!

It is now 1:30 and the ceremony is at 2:30! Shit! Race to bedroom, clothes flying, Spanx donned to slither into my $29 Ross special bridesmaid size 3 dress (thank god for miracle tailors that gave me the extra 1/2 inch to breath-but by now I had lost a unable to afford 5 pounds and had extra room), hot roller hair, Princess slapped on my makeup, friend Lisa yanks the curls, run off to help Princess don the dress.....

Excuse the blurry photos, we were RUSHING folks! This is the flower girl Gidget, watching Princess antics and wondering what the hell we are going to do next. Little did she know it meant the lovely dress, pink flower, and sparkly bracelet-turned-collar. She was supposed to walk to aisle, but instead I had to carry my granddog in style as she was used to doing.

By now she is demanding a makeup touch up. See that can of Pledge on the TV stand? Unused, dust everywhere-great when photographer shows up with 5 people more crowded into the 1 foot space around the bed....oh hell!

Here we have Prince Charming, obviously not amused nor yet willing to don his new jacket. Did manage the cool horseshoe tie we bought, although would never know what they were in this lousy picture would you? Pretty spiffy in pink though! Notice my house is STILL a disaster area and guests are already arriving via this room, great!

Here is a sorry looking bunch indeed. Left is Lisa, the bridesmaid and my best friend in the world. I am center with Gidget in her stylish outfit. Right is Alicia, the best person/man, Mr. Princess's best friend. This is the only lousy shot I have of our bouquets that I made. The other girls here have special locket charms tied to theirs and the stems are wrapped in coordinated ribbon. Yes, that is a bee hive above Alicia's head-no you don't want to know the story....

So, you see we have still not made it to the ceremony at all. I'm exhausted just reliving the hype up to this point. By now I was thinking, enough already, lets get this damn thing started and move on! Up next, the actual wedding begins. Tune in often as I am WAY behind in work so it may take me awhile to get there.

Meanwhile, some words of wisdom to ANY ONE contemplating a wedding or a dreaded backyard wedding.

1. Photos of every little, teeny, tiny damn thing as you do them. You spend MONTHS (some crazy ones years) planning and doing. Take the damn pix already! Put a disposable one in your purse, your car, your kitchen, everywhere you can fit one. DO NOT WAIT TIL WEDDING DAY TO REMEMBER>it won't happen. I have so many things I wish we had a pic of. No excuse. I have THREE cameras and over 15 disposable there the entire time. Did anyone take a picture? Hell no! We even made a dreaded pic list for the photographer for crying out loud. The details don't matter to a soul except YOU but trust me, take a damn picture already.

2. Make lists, make time lines, and delegate! I pulled it off but am paying for it still. DIY projects are great fun, but MAJOR stress to do alone. Enlist friends, family, enemies, everyone! Some of the best days were the favor assembly day (NO PHOTOS of dipping damn fortune cookies, assembling boxes), making invitations (from the date that never was-never did new ones thank goodness). I wish we had pix but we don't. Making bouquets took me days and arrangements months, not one damn photo. But the lists, while very OCD to my family, kept me in reality and I knew every second where we stood with prep etc.

3. Have fun, make it fun, don't sweat the small stuff. It isn't worth it and no one cares. The day is in the end all about the two people in love being married in front of friends and family. If it wasn't perfect, tough. Shit happens, cakes slide, decor doesn't look right, the house isn't clean, the veggie tray never made it to a tray or a table-WHO CARES!!!! My motto is, if they don't like it they don't have to look or there's the door. Either way, the Princess is married, happy, and in love. THAT is what matters! I could have cried, thrown more fits, pulled out more hair, refused to do things, or paid others to do it. In the end, it was over in a matter of hours, everyone left happy, full of food, and my daughter was married. We did what we could with the little money we have to give her a wedding to remember. It may not meet standards of others or mine for that matter, but we did the best we could. Would they be any more in love or married with more money spent or more time or more fluff? Hell no!

More lessons to follow, promise! That is if you aren't running in fear already from this mess...

We interrupt this blog for a wedding recap.....

First of all, let me apologize for neglecting this humble blog. You see, life has been one mad whirlwind for so long now I'm not completely sure what day it is. Now, let's get to the good stuff, the long awaited wedding of Princess and the new Mr. Princess. I'm struggling here for a name as my son already stole the Prince title, so any suggestions are welcomed in this fairy tale! Anyway, let's try to start in the chaos of late. First off, let's say my dear son the Prince had to travel here in a serious blizzard over 2 days just to be here to help out. It also entailed him spending the night in his car in a truck stop in middle of nowhere Wyoming, so I can't begin to thank him for all the hard work he poured into the prep work in spite of no sleep for several days.Here is a miracle of large magnitude. The Princess and Prince doing mundane household chores, TOGETHER! No blood involved! Well, they did drop a brand new rose platter old Mom had shelled out a big $2 for at the thrift store, but hey--I can handle that. Notice however the chore was to hand wash and dry all the platters and vases. See how they expertly avoided the dirty food dishes piled in the sink and on the counter? Pretty crafty kids.

Here we have the Prince doing another "you want me to do what?" Mom project. See I bought monogram letters intending to cover in lovely paper and bits to display on the cake table. Instead I made the professional auto painter rattle can them over my compost pile in the wind the day before the wedding. Yeah, brilliant.

This dear friends is the new Mr. Princess, wearing his appropriate "groom to be button" his MIL made him wear. Sporting the air compressor hose he was using to clean some salvaged garage carpet for use under the aisle runner in the grass to prevent his future bride from injury in heels on the grass... Did I mention his normal job is for Stanley Steamer and cleaning carpets was not on his agenda for the day? Ha ha ha, evil MIL strikes again. Of course Prince was not thrilled at the flying dirt in his paint job...

What does one do with a large, bulky, ugly, rusting storage locker in the middle of the buffet area? Why slap cling stickers from the dollar store on it to cover rust and dents of course! Planned to paint but too cold and windy....
Here is what Prince Charming does after hearing his wife utter for the 5 millionth time "honey, can you assemble this and move it again?" On strike he was and the dogs were on his side.

Alrighty then, let the party begin! Rehearsal went ok except some of the wedding party was missing. Prince stepped in to be the best "person" Alicia, we were doing the best walk down the aisle ever. The pastor they chose however did not have a sense of humor. Boy was he sorry he said yes to this wedding! Here you see the happy couple, groomsman John, bridesmaid Lisa, and the groom's parents-Lisa and Jenny. Yes, that makes three Lisas, and we are all nurses! Scarey isn't it? See the miniature gazebo in the back corner, long story, you will see more later....

Here is Princess doing her favorite hobby, eating! Mighty good stew hit the spot as it was downright COLD!

This is the general state of my house since last July when this mess originally started. Piles of flower arrangements, confetti, bouquets, serveware, tablecloths, platters, you name it. This was only one small PILE, there were literally more EVERYWHERE!



Ok, so dinner was over, the gang decided we hadn't killed each other yet so we wanted a nice fire. Prince Charming is a pro at this, Prince usually wants to use some combustable liquid and isn't allowed to help....

Now the party is started! Let me just say, this old chick learned YEARS ago never do shots, and NEVER mix alcohol varieties. These guys learned the hard way.... They had more combo shots than I can list or count and all paid dearly later and the next day. No sympathy from dear old mom! Notice blankets, fire, down right cold, but we kept at it til 1am shivering.....

This was my living room at 3am the day of the wedding. Piles now spread over every inch of floor and stacked 3 deep. One box for each table/area for decorating the morning of the wedding. The black polka dot dress and bright pink flower were for Gidget, the flowerdog!

Up next, more wedding prep leading to the big ceremony.

Birthday review

Birthdays at our house are done according to the birthday owner's desires. Usually it involves an activity and a meal followed by the ultimate cake. Some want to go out, some want to stay in and we have done some WILD activities over the years. But hey, birthdays are special so we try to accommodate the eclectic mix we call family. Princess is as unpredictable as they come. We have done the Ultimate Rush ride (well, she and Prince as NO WAY Mom is being suspended from a million foot pole and fly thru the air in a harness and sling), the usual roller skating, arcades, game playing, always something different. This year Mom got lazy as I needed to do the trial run of the cheesecake for the wedding, and frankly after working and being sick all week I couldn't stand the thought of leaving home. So, without the normal foot stomping pout, she agreed and we had a lovely day of fun (can you say Wii Fit will kick your butt if you are not 19?), watching movies, and eating our hearts out.

Best Brussel Sprouts! Seriously even my best friend who HATES sprouts ate two helpings of these babies! And yes, Princess insisted on Brussel Sprouts for her dinner.

Orange Duck! Seriously, what kid asks for duck for their birthday dinner? Yeah, that would be mine. So, off to the experimental test lab, I mean kitchen. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

And with a drum roll please...............

That's my girl, make a wish, and blow them all out!

Happy Birthday Princess! Excuse the lousy photo quality but I was determined to save the smoke wafting thru as a memento for her of what happens when you get "old" HA! Blow out 19 candles and suddenly the room is filled with the dreaded smoke haze as though you are really old like your mom!

Happy Birthday to my Princess! Not sure where the last 19 years flew off to, but I am so proud to have such a strong, intelligent, caring, adventurous, and wild child! No mother could ask for a better child to share her life with and I am lucky to be your Mom. My wish for you is a life of love, happiness, learning, and pure joy. My heart is full of joy for you and the beautiful young woman you have become and I know you will live each day with passion, determination, and no fear. Now, let's eat some white chocolate raspberry cheesecake shall we?

(Notice she is licking the cheesecake off the candles, yeah, nothing wasted around this place folks!)

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

I hope you all have a wonderful day and may the luck of the Irish be with you! My corned beef and cabbage is simmering, taters are scrubbed to throw in later, now to come up with a desert to top it off. Enjoy the day!

Productive weekend

Well, at least I have made some wedding progress, although not as much as I need to. This weekend I managed to:
1. Pick up both the wedding dress and my dress from the alterations lady. She did a terrific job with the bustle-made hand done beaded flowers to hide the buttons when the train is down. I still have to hold my breath, but is much better than it was prior to letting mine out about 3/4 of an inch which is all the material she had to work with.

2. Made a White Chocolate/Raspberry Cheesecake for the birthday party that was a hit-so now will make another for the wedding.

3. Completed bouquets for-myself, the maid of honor, the best person who is standing up with the groom, and the toss bouquet. Didn't want to risk throwing Princess's real one as she has decided on a long arm bouquet with only a few stems. They turned out pretty well. Threw together a couple of mixed centerpieces with the left over. Lots more to make.

4. Filled the tulle circles with the hot pink confetti. Used a mix of white/pink/brown circles but now wish had stuck to the brown. The light pink circle looks more dirty white against the others but oh well. Bought this crazy Eco friendly, biodegradable confetti- looks more like flakes of hot pink Styrofoam and doesn't throw real great (had to give it a try in the kitchen). I got it because it is supposed to dissolve in water so after we aren't picking up tiny confetti for years in the yard. Here's the kicker-it really does dissolve! Although the small amount I tried left kind of a slick film in the glass-note to self-don't wet down anywhere you want to walk while the stuff is still wet!

5. Decided we are going with the chairs and table mismatched mess we can borrow and use from here rather than rent. The money has flown out the window and it has to stop somewhere. Will it look tacky, yes. At this point I frankly don't care.

6. Bought another cake pan and did some research for some cake recipes. Now have to get the time to get the darn things made and frozen asap.

7. Bought a nice western suit jacket, new brown jeans, hot pink shirt, and brown silk tie with tiny silver horseshoes on it for Prince Charming to wear walking her down the aisle. He will look so handsome I can hardly wait. She will freak if she sees the horseshoes, so saving it for the last second of-oh by the way kind of deal.

8. My son says he is coming now, will hold my breath til I see the whites of his eyes but gotta trust that he will.

So, now that I look, OMG-I have to get a move on here people. We are struggling with the blue part of the equation. Any brillian ideas out there? She is wearing a new dress, borrowing my mom's diamond earrings, will tie the antque locket my mother had her photo and my dad in to her bouquet. We are stumped on the blue. She doesn't want a blue garter or underwear. Her hair is going to be spotlight with the veil and tiara but no way to affix anything to them anyway. I am running out of creative ideas here folks.

all a blur....and in need of creative assistance-soon

Has a seriously been over a month since last writing here? Yeah, well no surprise given it was all a blur here. Daily wedding plans changing daily, massive snow to shovel, mud to track in, leaking washing machine, dresses to alter....endless list.

So, I have to get on the stick and get this entire wedding ordeal wrapped up before the 6Th. Still have all the baking, cooking, flower arranging, well basically everything to do between now and then. Never fear, I still peak in on everyone as often as I can as I find so much inspiration in your lives that I hope will spark a fire in me here very soon.

On that note, if anyone knows some terrific cheap, fast, easy appetizers, a white chocolate/raspberry cheesecake, wedding cake, or killer punch recipe please send them to me a quick as you can. I need all the help I can get.

Other questions I am pondering:
1. How the heck do I make an empty garden (now dirt IE mud and sticks) a lovely backdrop for a wedding ceremony? I have the arch deal, but what else can I do to camo the ugly mess that will be a garden if spring ever arrives? Cheap here people, I have essentially no money for this ordeal.
2. How to make the fabric runner a bit easier to walk on in heels over the grass leading to the arch? Too long a section to lay plywood or I would as already using what we have to get a semi clean path from the front to back yard so she has a grand entrance.
3. Creative ideas for the old, new, borrowed, blue routine? Her dress is new (white with pink/white flowers and scattered sequins and beads), shoes are red with rhinestones, has a veil and tiara (yeah, princess remember?) She is allergic to metals except white gold so the jewelry route is kind of out of the price range now....
4. Suggestions for songs to walk down the isle aside from the old standby?
5.A poem to place in a frame with photos of our 4 family members who have passed away as a tribute to remember?
6. Fun bridal shower themes, games, ideas?
7. Decor for the event-I have some silk flowers and glass fish bowls and plan on candles, white lights, a few hanging lanterns. Have a feeling we can expect wind and some rather cool temps given the date. I have a fire pit and hope to find a outdoor heater to use somewhere. I can't afford a tent rental, so pray to every spirit you know it doesn't rain or snow because my house is too small for 25 plus people.
8. Ideas for where I can buy a unique garter and perhaps find some cheap hankies? Would like to set a few in a basket for guests who decide to cry-or just for me when I start bawling my eyes out.
9. Card box ideas?
10. Guest book ideas? Expecting about 25 or so people so the standard ones are a bit big for so few people.

Seriously, any ideas, suggestions, thoughts. They are a unique couple, so it kind of makes me a bit stumped here. My original ideas were all fall based and now here we are with spring. He loves firefighter deals, movies, and is rather picky with food. She is a tomboy princess who loves Asian inspired ideas, simple things, but goes for the sparkly things too. The colors are hot pink, chocolate brown, and teal. I get to be the matron of honor and am wearing a prom dress I found that is a cross between pink and coral? let's hope my spanx can suck me in a bit more as the dress I got was about an inch around too small for comfort and the most material they can let out is about a 3/4 at best. It was only $30 and I frankly couldn't pass it up! My best friend is her bridesmaid and is wearing chocolate brown. The Prince is walking her down as her father has been 'uninvited" and is a cowboy who will wind up in jeans and a pink shirt. The favors for guests will be fortune cookies in little take out boxes. Dinner was changed to appetizers.

So, any and all ideas are greatly appreciated. I need all the help I can get!

Monday again?

Is it really Monday again? Seriously, wasn't it just Friday? A whirlwind weekend blew thru here and now I don't know where it went. I have vague memories of:
1. a pile of laundry that somehow morphs into a larger pile despite the continuous splash of agitation on my washer, and the inevitable ping of coins revolving in the dryer
2. the sudden realization at 3am on Saturday morning that the old married couple were still awake and upright in the living room after a marathon viewing of Brothers and Sisters on DVD
3. somewhere in the blurred images my Christmas decorations found their way to the appropriate storage bins now hiberating in the garage (yes, you heard it here first, the dumb blonde FINALLY took down the Christmas tree).
4. Fast forward to 2 straight days of cooking and cleaning and decorating to prepare for the annual Superbowl feast, I mean party.
5. hours of manual labor to clean up the scraps of remaing food, decor, noisemakers, empty bottles, cans, glasses, scrubbing rock hard baking sheets of remnants of scorched hot wing sauce
6. numbly searching for eye drops around 3 am Monday after another marathon run to devour back to back episodes of House on USA Network.

So, where did that weekend go again? Just sat around doin' good old nothing. How bout you?