Tuesday, April 27, 2010

High wind warning-ya right!

Mother Nature is currently showing her destructive self in my corner of the world. I awoke this morning to silence. Well, not true, it was the loud earsplitting crashing sound of metal and wood but what disturbs my slumber is silence. See, Prince has a monumental case of sleep apnea. To say he snores would be a gross understatement. To combat these disturbing noises, I do what any red blooded chick would do and sleep with the TV on. Steady white noise to cancel the intermittent blasts of rumbling from the other side of my bed. That said, today I awoke to silence. No snoring, yep quick glance from my cocoon showed a vacant spot. Worse yet, the TV screen was black. Clock radio blinking that nausea inducing green flashes of 12:00...Hmm, power is off. Wander painfully to the kitchen for my morning dose of caffeine to jump start my heart.

Holy Bat shit call the police! No coffee. No power. No lights. No camera. PLENTY of action. My first mistake was walking to the back door. "uhhhmmm, Did the president call in the special forces to blow up our yard?" I mutter to the Prince. 4 inches from my backdoor lays my trusty gas grill with it's four burners and fancy side burner-upside down! Say it ain't so! Still more carnage lay strewn as far as my eyes can see. My large wooden arch with planters filled with dirt to anchor it lays in pieces on its side. Heavy metal birdbath transported sideways to the yard. Plastic lawn furniture scattered across the dance floor deck like ping pong balls. 4 foot trees and planters litter the paver area like lawn darts. Wind chimes resemble crumpled aluminum foil balls. Next door has a metal shed whose roof is flapping in the sustained 50 mph breeze like a fly swatter at a picnic. Fences posts splintered like take out chop sticks. Pretty sure my door mat is somewhere in the middle of Kansas by now. Large wicker chair is upside down on top of a tool chest against the wall of the house.

Alrighty then. Fast forward 6 hours. Power, check. TV, check. News flashes, not good. Power lines and trees down all over town. Fires from power lines. Road closures for overturned trucks. Oh, did I mention it's raining? Oh, did I mention it is turning to snow? Oh, did I mention it was 80 degrees on Saturday? Oh, did I mention I am sick of this? Yeah, I know could be worse. Could have been the devastation like the south picking up lives from a tornado, or the massive quakes that have claimed thousands. Selfish little me is just allowed to whine today about my own disaster area and the frantic search for spring! Forgive me, I'm off to refill my coffee and sulk........

PS. If you find my door mats, you can keep them, you're welcome.