Tuesday, April 8, 2008

April Snow showers and Garden Fashion advice needed

OK, this is really starting to irritate me now. This photo is what my yard looked like same time last year, flowers blooming folks! (not to mention rhubarb coming on fast just the way I like it)Now, fast forward to April 2008 and I am officially discouraged. I have picked 3, count them 1-2-3 blasted daffodils, and a pathetic bunch of grape hyacinth, period, that's all folks. Why you ask?

Well, brilliant blonde idiot I am went into the yard this past weekend to do some "spring cleaning" and raked away the dead plant matter from the winter as there are actual signs that life may just evolve from those brown clumps. ( yes garden snobs I know this should be done in fall but I have learned the hard way to leave it the heck alone or the darn things die with the freeze, thaw, drying winds etc, so there, it works for me) So, my good friend Murphy shows up today, with his best friend Mr. Winter and proceeds to SNOW. Wait, did you hear me, I said it is snowing!!
Now, a glass-half-full kind of gal would say, at least it isn't piling up, covering everything, etc.
Well, my glass-half-empty heart says who gives a crap, it is cold, blowing white nasty stuff and I am sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, can't wait for morning as the lovely weatherman is muttering low of 24 degrees tonight. 24 Degrees-PLEASE someone stop this madness my poor old winter logged brain can't take any more of this!!! My skinny bones need heat, sunshine, Vitamin D, NOW.
Irony of the whole deal is this folks, I live in the high desert. We had "massive" amounts of snow in my neighborhood, not to mention rain and any other form of "precipitation" you can imagine this winter. During my snow inducing escapade in the yard, what do I see but dry dirt. I mean serious dry dirt people, inches down it is bone dry.
Welcome to my gardening dilemma, hard pan, clay, freezing winters, scorching summers, generally not garden prone area. In spite of it all I have managed every year to overcome the odds and produce a darn nice crop of veggies, fruit trees, roses everywhere (stickery damn things but I love them), and a variety of others that "oh, that won't grow here" variety of plants. Never tell me I can't for I will just to prove you wrong or make an ass of myself, never sure til I try, but try I might. I have serious plants slated to ship this week from QVC (I think I may need an intervention, but another story) that will need to be planted. I have seed packets littering every corner stash I can find. I have a BRAND NEW BARE BED in the front lawn waiting transplants from the back yard. (Read- I was sick of dead grass that only I water and we have a shortage here, green grass is impossible with water restrictions of twice per week ONLY) I have to dig major holes for my new plants (anyone have a jack hammer they want to lend for a weekend?). I have fertilizer to nourish my new plants. I have garden shops to explore. Prince Charming has a damn horse shoe arch to build (promised to me for 4 years now but who's counting) and he can't weld in the snow! I have needs people. Big needs.

Speaking of needs, I need some input from any gardening weirdos or other fashion critics who like plastic out there. I have ruined more shoes than I can count when I actually bother to wear them in the garden. I have been toying with buying some of those hideous plastic clog deals to wear for the job, think hey plastic can stand the mud and hose blasts required right? Anyone tried them? Favorite brand? Kind of keen on the idea of a bright pink or purple pair although Prince Charming swears he won't talk to me if I wear any such thing. Come on, the man owns nothing but cowboy boots and slippers, what does he know? He screams at me for walking around barefoot (LOVE IT), so logical choice here is plastic shoes. Tried the cheapo plastic flip flops, but the darn things always pop out where it attachs at the toe part as I'm not exactly a ballerina here folks. So, any ideas for ones that won't just add to my pile of "tried it-hate it" garden junk. Also looking for some longer garden gloves that are tough enough to deal with the rose thorns, but want some that go up at least half way to the elbow. Am I making any sense to anyone? If so, let me know if you have a favorite or have stumbled across a place I could look for some. Normally wear hubbies worn out (not really, I steal them and hide in my stash) leather gloves but his hands are so much bigger they tend to fall off if they get snagged on a plant.
Ok, enough midnight ramblings. Sorry for the language too, just really needing a vent outlet this week so you get the brunt of it folks. Hope I don't scare you all (ha, ok the poor two or three of you that actually read this crap once in awhile but I love you so don't stop!)! I HAVE SPRING FEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening. Night!

1 comment:

karlascottage.typepad.com said...

Your garden situation sounds like mine, are you in Kansas too? Dry and hot in the summer, clay soil, icy cold freezing and horrilbe in the winter. Did I mention DRY as a bone in the summer?

Hey, I tried the knockoff brand of Crocs and hated them. I bought the real ones and love them to pieces.

thanks for making a card for my aunt!